Why I'm Glad I Went Natural

Photo by Jennifer Marquez on Unsplash

Around ten years ago, I was faced with a choice. A hair choice, to be specific. See, because I was pregnant, I would not be able to get a relaxer (also known as a ‘perm’) that chemically straightened my tresses. This was an unsettling prospect. I had been getting relaxers every three to six months since I was ten – this made my hair ‘easier’ to manage and style. Even so, my hair clearly hadn’t made it to the top of the list of considerations as my husband and I planned the pregnancy. I mean, I don’t know who would be able to say that they thought about their hair when family planning, but now that we were at this point, it definitely presented a quandary.

Now, at the time of my dilemma, natural hair was just beginning to be viewed as socially acceptable. Corporations were easing their rigid policies on hair styles and tv commercials began to feature black women with wash and go’s and twist outs. It was awesome to see this representation of diversity. However, it was still a challenging path to navigate because you never knew in what environment natural hair would be embraced and what environment it would be taboo and taboo reigned supreme.

“I honestly don’t remember my hair ever being trimmed”

I always loved switching up and experimenting with new hairstyles or revisiting favorites, so my style at the time was a pixie cut, wasn’t new to me. It was one that I had gone back to after some time for the same reason I had tried it before – to cut away heat, chemical, and tension-damaged hair and encourage hair growth. I really wanted my hair to grow past my chin. My goal was to have real hangtime; to feel my hair sweep against my back and to easily pull it up into a ponytail. Unfortunately, I didn’t grow up going to salons; we couldn’t afford it. The closest I got to a salon was having a family friend charge a discounted rate to come to our apartment braid my hair in cornrows if I bought the packs of hair I wanted added in. I honestly don’t remember my hair ever being trimmed, not even a dusting at home. The weekend routine was just wash and condition, blow dry, style, repeat.

My relaxers were store-bought and done by my mother and later in my teen years, I took it over. I remember the Just for Me jingle word-for-word (you know, the one in the box with the pictures of girls who didn't actually have relaxers). It wasn’t difficult, just put on some plastic gloves and smooth the cream onto your hair in sections, being mindful of your scalp, and leave it on until you feel the tingle, then wash it out. This only resulted in a few minor burns and hair breakage (insert sarcasm), and the smell was fantastic (insert heavy sarcasm). But it got the job done.

It’s what we were taught to do – there was really no interest in learning how to grow and nourish healthy hair. Either you hit the genetic lottery and had ‘good’ hair that grew long, or you were unlucky enough to have hair that just didn’t grow. I landed firmly in the latter camp. My hair did not grow beyond two inches below my ears. It just wasn’t a thing. Thankfully, it was long enough to avoid being picked on for being bald-headed as a kid (iykyk). And there were ways to disguise it as I got older and moved away from braids with beads and pigtails with ballies (baubles depending on your geography). Ponytail pieces were a staple since the install was quick and easy. In between relaxers, when my hair started to get thicker as the chemicals wore off, I would have a protective style put in, like box braids or weaves. This way of ‘maintaining’ my hair continued through my teen years, college and beyond. I had some stretches where I let myself go a little longer than usual in between ‘perms’ for one reason or another but I always came back to the creamy crack.

. . .

Fast forward to my choice as an expectant mother – should I go natural now, an idea I had been toying with for a little while, or just get protective styles for the duration of my pregnancy until I could get my relaxer after having the baby? I mean, uncovering my natural hair type was a scary proposition. This was an unknown territory, and I would have to educate myself on how to manage whatever was revealed to be my hair type/texture as the relaxed hair was trimmed off and the natural grew out. It would be a commitment of time and finances to find products that worked. On the other hand, the protective styles that I was getting professionally done were not cheap and finding a stylist in my area that did good work was a challenge. And how long was I going to subject myself to the cycle of growing my hair to a point just to cut it off again?

So, my decision?

I’m happy to say that I chose to go the natural route and have never looked back. It was honestly one of the biggest decisions I’ve made in my life. It may sound silly, but it was a pretty major change for someone who only knew how to work with chemically treated hair. Inch by inch I had my relaxed hair trimmed off as my natural hair grew in. And once that last bit of straight hair was cut away, I felt free. There was absolutely a learning curve with many different products purchased (fellow product junkies know how it is) and several different regimens explored before finding the one that worked for me (Leave in – Oil – Cream or LOC).

I trusted the process and watched my TWA (teeny weeny afro) that I could really only slap a headband on grow into a full grown mature ‘fro that I worked into twists, crown braids and puffs. I heavily relied on YouTube tutorials for styles and drew inspiration from Pinterest. Occasionally, I would install kinky twists or throw on a wig to mix it up, but I never kept my 4C coils under wraps for long. I found the best edge control for me, learned my hair’s porosity, discovered co-washing and played with accessories. It was such a fun and enlightening journey – I grew confidence in myself and was encouraged by the support of my friends and family. Interestingly enough, when I finally straightened my hair for a change of pace, I had the hang time I had once desired, but it was no longer as important as it was before. My focus had shifted solely to having healthy hair and length wasn’t that big of a deal anymore. I remember having reservations about hitting it with the flat iron and being super careful not to cause any heat damage. I was so thankful when my coils immediately bounced back while being washed. I can count on one hand the number of times I took the risk of straightening and that was with heat protectant and everything.

. . .

“There I was, trusting the process again.”

After about four years of natural loose hair, I took the leap into another journey – I loc’ed my hair; a style that I had admired since I was younger. I distinctly remember seeing a woman with locs on a tv show when I was younger and wanting my hair to be like that. I educated myself on the different type of locs and the maintenance involved for each. Though I’m a big fan of sister locs, what I gathered about their maintenance did not align with my lifestyle. I decided to go with some nice medium-sized locs. Not too skinny that re-twisting/interlocking would take forever and not too thick that I wouldn’t be able to manipulate them into different styles. I wanted to eventually curl them, wear them wavy and whatever other style they would allow.

There I was, trusting the process again. I went to a loctician to have my starter locs installed, having no idea what a grid should look like and no skills to be able to execute it myself; at least not for something I could be sticking with indefinitely. Salon life is ultimately not for me, so after a few months of returning to my loctician for washes and re-twists, when our schedules started to clash, I resolved to do my own maintenance from there on out. I leaned on protective styles as my baby locs transformed from defined twists to firmly bonded locs. I listened to and learned my hair as it grew and I trained it to lay in the right direction. I’ve never questioned whether I made the right choice with my hair decisions. I discovered colored hair wax, flexi-rods, and a host of different styles. What’s awesome is that locs are a style in themselves so I don’t have to do much, if anything, to mine if I so choose. Being loc’ed is so liberating and convenient that if I hadn’t been having so much fun with my loose hair, I’d wish I had done it sooner.

One thing I do wish is that I had stopped using relaxers sooner. Lately, alarming information has been making headlines surrounding the treatment of hair with chemicals, relaxers being one of them. Usage has been linked to increased risk of developing both breast cancer and uterine cancer. The statistics are out there, and lawsuits are being pursued. It’s sad to think that so many of us were unknowingly exposed to these risks for the sake of conformity.

In the last few years, a win for the natural hair movement has come in the form of CROWN Acts. Many states have enacted a Creating A Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair Act, a movement that has pushed for the acceptance of natural hair in spaces where biases existed, with the goal of putting an end to race-based hair discrimination, particularly in the workplace. Workplaces have historically been unaccepting of African American hair in its natural state of varying textures or styles such as afros, locs, bantu knots, etc, that are firmly embedded in the African American culture. CROWN Acts reinforce that it is the talent and job performance the employee brings to the table that matters, not how they choose to wear their hair. There have been several campaigns facilitated by beauty brands on social media to advance the acceptance of natural hair and petitions to have CROWN Acts passed in all fifty states. Currently, numerous actors and actresses have pledged their support to the cause along with backing from SAG-AFTRA and are putting pressure on Congress to pass the Act so that protections may be applied to federal agencies and institutions.

My state has it’s own version of the CROWN Act, having gone into effect after I loc’ed my hair. Thankfully, during my time in the workforce, I have never experienced hair discrimination. I was hired at my longstanding corporate job with my natural hair out and have worn many different styles and colors, a fair amount of time having been spent at the front desk of the office. All I ever received were compliments and questions about how long it took to have it done. I know I’m lucky in this and that for every experience like mine, there are a hundred completely opposite experiences. Looking back, I’m not sure how I would have fared at my place of employment without the latitude that I had from the beginning. I’m confident that I would not have compromised my self-expression via my hair. I was and remain proud of my hair in its natural state. It’s a part of who I am and how I stay true to myself.