Discovering my place on the great personality spectrum
Let’s talk personalities.
Everyone has one. Some are big and in your face. Others are unassuming and demure. Some personalities mesh well with others and some decidedly do not.
The composition of a person’s unique characteristics that are observable to others is called their personality; in effect, this makes someone who they are. Throughout most of my life, I’ve known of two personality categories: extrovert and introvert. Pretty much everyone I know falls into either camp; I have loud friends who speak out unabashedly and I have more quiet friends who prefer not to assert themselves.
Loosely speaking, extroverts thrive in social situations and draw energy from being around others. On the other hand, introverts tend to avoid social events and prefer the company of only a few select companions or themselves alone.
Neither of these exclusively describe my personality.
When called upon to describe myself, I could give a whole discourse: “Well, I like to joke around sometimes, but other times I prefer serious conversations. Sometimes I enjoy small talk but other times, it feels awkward and I’d rather not engage. I typically don’t like to speak if I don’t have anything to say but under the right circumstance, I can talk your ear off.”
An accurate assessment, but not ideal. I eventually began to say that I am an “extroverted introvert”. Still not perfect, but the most precise depiction I could think up for my occasional raucousness.
Now, by no means have I been on some long, drawn out, existential mission to define my personality. It just would be nice to neatly sum up my nature when explaining to new friends or coworkers how I operate. Also, as someone who majored in psychology, this type of subject is intriguing to me.
I am not a medical or psychiatric professional and cannot provide advice in these areas.
The term omnivert peaked my interest within the last year. A person who falls into this category has the traits of both an extrovert and an introvert. For example, an omnivert can be the life of the party one day, socializing with friends old and new, and entertaining the night away per their extroverted tendencies. However, for the next day or two, the omnivert may need to rest and recharge, with little to no human contact in keeping with their propensity towards introversion.
I had hoped that I had found my identifier here, but omnivert did not really explain my general personality. I enjoy parties when I attend them, however, I do not require any form of recharge time.
Fast forward to just a few days ago, when while listening to the radio, I heard the term ambivert. I rushed to google the word and as I read its definition, I found myself nodding my head. This was it. An ambivert, like an omnivert, embodies the traits of both an extrovert and an introvert. However, an ambivert can fall into either personality category based on the situation.
Yes. That part.
This describes me exactly. With my girlfriends and other married couple acquaintances, I can be loud and fun and participatory. At work events, I can mix and mingle with coworkers and be engaging. But at social events with people I am unfamiliar with, when I am the new kid on the block, I revert to observing the scene with minimal participation. My observable characteristics can change with any given situation throughout any given day.
Being an ambivert means that the situationis the catalyst for whether I speak up or keep my thoughts to myself. The situationprecipitates if I am apt to collaborate or work independently. The situation indicates the likelihood of me going out to a social function or staying in for the night. This was what I had been trying to put my finger on - the fact that the version of myself that people see is circumstantial. It was obviously not news to me that my countenance varied in this way, but there may have been a part of me that was fearful that this way of being was not ‘normal’. If I bounced between once side of the personality spectrum and the other, was I a mentally stable person?
The answer is Yes. Yes, I am a mentally stable person. And you are, too, if you identify as an ambivert, an omnivert, or any other yet to be discovered personality on the spectrum.
So, the next time I am asked to describe myself, I can simply say that I am an ambivert. It’s the perfect ice breaker.
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