Sis.
Bro.
Ma’am.
Sir.
Please listen closely to what I’m about to say.
Ready? Okay.
STOP HATING ON EACH OTHER ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
Stop with the unnecessary negative comments.
Stop re-posting what you see on your timeline to private groups to have likeminded people share in the tearing down of another human being.
Stop trying to knock others down to lift yourself up.
Just. Stop. The. Hate.
You know what you can do instead?
You can keep scrolling and not say anything at all.
Keep your thoughts to yourself.
Should you really feel compelled to comment, stop and think:
‘Is this constructive criticism or straight up criticism?’
‘Is this helpful or is it hurtful?’
‘If I were the poster or the subject of the post, how would it make me feel to see this comment?’
If you want to interpret the following as a whiny plea for everyone to get along, that’s your prerogative. I see it as a call for positivity. An element of life that is much needed in today’s world.
Every day, on the social platforms that I frequent (Facebook, IG, and TikTok), I see so much hate going on. As a society, for some reason we just can’t let people do them without having an opinion, and subsequently voicing that opinion to the world, not caring in the least that our words could be damaging to someone else’s self-esteem or confidence or just straight up offensive. Why is this? If a Caucasian woman can really blow, why can’t we give her props instead of saying ‘she alright but she can’t hold a candle to x’? Why can’t we scroll past a picture of someone’s dinner plate without commenting ‘WTH is that?’ or ‘that look nasty’? For all we know, that person could be a novice at cooking or you just may be unfamiliar with that particular dish. Perhaps, the poster made the meal to their own liking and is proud of their finished product. Our ignorance could discourage them from sharing anything else they make; maybe even from cooking, period. And at what cost? What is the end goal of our cutting words? We put our criticisms out there with no thought given to the impact that our words could have on someone who is struggling with their self-esteem.
Even people’s stances on whether to get vaccinated against COVID-19 or not triggers fanatics into coming out of the woodwork to strongly voice their opinion on what they think everyone else should do. To one person, getting the vaccine makes you a mindless sheep, blindly following the guidance of a corrupt government out to control every aspect of your life. To another person, getting the vaccine is for the good of the population, potentially saving not just your own life but the lives of many others. And don’t get me started on the nasty political battles I’ve seen online. Disparaging comments get thrown around by both sides, neither backing down, both refusing to accept the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If one person thinks President Biden’s policies are trash, the other has to accept that. There’s nothing wrong with having a healthy debate, but when it disintegrates to the point of name calling and other insults being hurled back and forth, we are no longer attempting to listen and learn from one another, which should always be the goal, but merely belittling each other in the harshest way we can come up with.
We just can’t help ourselves. We thrive on negativity and drama. If you think about it, drama is really just a code word for glorified dysfunction. You see it everywhere. Disputes on reality tv shows, beef between rappers and singers, contention between actors and actresses in Hollywood. An influencer on IG gets trolled by the fans of another influencer. Keyboard warriors with nothing else to do attempt to instigate feuds between comedians. It’s not healthy. However, it’s entertainment and we thrive on it.
But we can do better.
How much better would it be to say to the white woman ‘Wow, your voice is amazing’ and leave it at that? Yes, there can only be one Whitney but if a girl can belt, no matter what color or ethnicity, why not applaud her talent? To the food poster, how much of a difference would it make to say ‘This looks interesting, what exactly is it?’ This opens up the door for conversation, which could result in you learning something new. Sure, it might take time to redirect what your original thoughts may be and turn them into something positive, but the more you do it, the easier it will get, until it becomes natural and even the norm for you. It's called growth. You are worth it and so are other people.
And really, an opinion is like a certain body part: everyone has one, but you know what? Not everyone needs to hear yours. And let me tell you something: It costs nothing to be nice. And sometimes, being nice means saying nothing at all. So, if you don't want to invest in cultivating more positive thoughts, maybe just keep scrolling.
Coincidentally, it is Mental Health Awareness Month, the perfect time to put an effort towards making either of these changes. Because no matter what you think, your words have the power to change someone’s day, month, year or life in a negative or positive way. So, agree to disagree. Respectfully state your thoughts and beliefs and exit the conversation if things become heated. Be more positive.
And if all else fails...
Keep scrolling.
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